I forgot to mention before that Sasha stopped by. Well, I’m getting a 78 in Mr. Cloog’s class.
Players is so fun! Daniel had to give me a ride because Deirdre already had 5 people in her car. They went through Passionella (a spoof on Cinderella) and Adam and Eve. I have to get a lock for my locker, because Lizzie and Brenda thought they’d be smart and took all my stuff out and put it in another locker. I lost 10 minutes in study time, and got a 45 on a test I retook. (I got an 85 when I retook it this afternoon) I’m going to bed now, bye!
Dear Diary, 11/5/88
Today I went to work. Chris was 1/2 hour late. Linc had left early (about 8:30) because he had to go to the Home Product Show. During first break, I kept bothering him; he told me to cut the shit. I kept going though. Why was I doing that? I was thinking maybe It was something like I can’t have him love me, I would want him to hate me? (Thin line between love and hate?) I don’t know. I kept myself extremely busy at Players the whole time. I got paint all over myself. Daniel was there till 5 Valerie, Michele, Eric, Carson, Linda and Jill left before the rest of us.
Dear Diary, 11/6/88
Today we cut up the deer Dad got. I had told Sandra and Maggie was there. Maggie’s chin dropped to her chest. It was so funny! I now have 18 1/2 hours in on the players (you need 200 to get a letter) Daniel gave me a ride home. We all, (Tabitha was there too!) started hitting eachother-Daniel hit me in the eye because he couldn’t see where he was hitting. We had a partial run through of Adam and Eve- during the blackout Sandra and I moved their new home on stage and put it nearly in the right spot; in the dark. I was proud of myself…don’t know why really…we have to know that anyway. I think rehearsal is until 9:30 tomorrow. Players paid for my dinner (also the people who came early) This is great therapy- I don’t have time to get mopey. I guess I ought to go to bed. Night!
Dear Diary, 11/7/88
Worked on show all afternoon. Deirdre took me home, Mr. Lion wanted to get up to Passionella’s change scene- we only got up to the first part of Lady or the Tiger. I honestly don’t think we’ll be done in time. Its late. Sandra and I were dropped off by Mr. Lion at Mama’s . We ordered pizza and brought it back (we walked) I’ve gotta get to bed. Night!
Dear Diary, 11/8/88
It’s 11:18 at night. We had the total run through of the play. There is a ghost in the Auditorium. We named it Sarah. Katherine’s been really edgy, but then so has everybody. I hope (as probably everyone else does) that opening night will be a success. It seemed to go fairly smoothly.
Dear Diary, 11/9/88
Opening night was a success! We only had maybe 2 mishaps. Linda forgot a few lines to her song- but it still sounded beautiful and the wheel on Adam and Eve’s hut broke, so we had to put a new one in. Sarah showed herself. There was a glowing in the back room and the work lights went on mysteriously twice. We accounted for one where Amanda flicked the switch on and off. Nicki had a sore throat but she still sounded beautiful. One of the candles fell out of the candlestick and off the platform. Afterward, everyone was hugging everyone. Daniel hugged 4 of us at once! (this is one growing boy!)
I’m starting to mend but I had a setback when I saw that boy again. Dierdre gave me a ride home. Night!
Dear Diary, 11/10/88
The play went great! In Adam and Eve Adam’s first hut fell over. Daniel said, “It’s all your fault Eve!” and they improvised until they got it back up. Nick had gone to the mall. There was a parrot in the pet store. When people said, “hi” it said hi; when people said “John” it said “John”. Well, Nicki thought she’d be smart and say, “Nicki’s God”. And the parrot LAUGHED! The whole entire store laughed.
I’m working 8-4 tomorrow, so I’ve got to get to sleep.
Dear Diary, 11/11/88
Nothing much today. I went to work and we did geraniums, new guinea impatiens and fuscia oh, and vinca. It was Linc, Chris, Sasha, me and mom. Got home and went to eat at Dragon City. Its 7:00 now. I’m gonna get ready for bed.
Dear Diary, 11/12/88
I worked at the store today, 9-1. I got home, ate, sat and moped. I am feeling extremely sorry for myself. I miss Chris (as a boyfriend) The play went beautifully, near success. Daniel’s mom drove me home because everyone else went to Friendly’s. Last night I had the strangest dream. I had a dream that I was going out with Eric Brando and that we were rolling all over the ground, fucking like mad. If his lips are as good in real life…
My subconscious has a filthy mind.
Dear Diary, 11/13/88
I slept until 8, which is late for me. I putzed around, did 2 loads of wash (still have 2 left). Lianne and I are going to do the seminar for the Newspaper tomorrow. It ought to be fun. I am feeling worse and worse. When I was working on the play, I was kept busy enough. I always seem about to cry.
I have a dull ache in my chest where my heart used to be. But now, my heart has shattered causing my breath to be short and a constant lump in my throat.
I am in a constant state of melancholy though no one even sees it. I would honestly be a fantastic actress.
Dear Diary, 11/14/88
I went to the journalism workshop which was interesting and I got letters from my pen pals—on the same day. I am tired so that’s all I’ll say except that I’m getting a 62 in French.
Dear Diary, 11/16/88
Nothing much goin on. I am sending a poem to YM to see if I can get it published. Daniel lost his voice. We are hoping that he will get it back. (oh, well) I sent the letter to Australia the next day.
Dear Diary, 11/17/88
Nothing much. It was a ½ day so I went ot work. Got my report card. English-78, foreign policy-85, Algebra- 71, French- 62, CPR- 88, Gym- 88 Chemistry- 83. Test on Moby Dick tomorrow. UGH.
Dear Diary, 11/18/88
I am in the pits of mortal despair. (Dryad note: obviously stolen from “Anne of Green Gables”.) I hurt so badly, If only I could cry and let it all out, but instead I have this horrid ache inside. It is so hard to be on the verge of tears all the time and never being able to cry. Putting on a brave face so no one (and honestly no one does) knows how badly I’ve been hurt. Its something like putting a bandaid over a chopped off arm.
Why? I care for him surely, but do I (honestly now do I love him? My symptoms are pointing to that, but its too late for me to do anything now.
On to cheerier matters. The play went great. Daniel had his voice (praise the lord). Daniel is having the cast party tomorrow night. I had better get to bed now.
Dear Diary, 11/20/88
Being so early in the morning (1:30am) and so much to tell, I’ll finish in the morning. All I’ll say now is that I went to the cast party, the play was the best yet, and work was okay. Finish later.
I never finished last night. Mom got mad at me this morning for asking if she was going to the play. Chris cheered me up (not just the sight—verbal wise!) Mom and dad took me to school. Closing night was our best night. Daniel made a joke about Quayle as president in Adam and Eve. The party was fun. We watched a video tape of the show. Lizzie’s mom took me home. I didn’t do much today.
Dear Diary, 11/23/88
Sorry so late in writing. Nothing much is going on. We’ve been taking down set, sophomore class is selling cookies, I got an A+ on my French composition and a 91 on my oral report in English and an 80 on my chemistry test. In volleyball, I dove for the ball and got a floor burn. (feels nasty too) (Dryad note: still have the scar too!) Well tomorrow is thanksgiving. What am I thankful for? My family of course, friends? I put a question mark there because I have no real friends anymore. I used to be able to tell Lianne anything but now it’s hard. I have plenty of friends though between classes and Players. Well, I’ve got too many to count.
Mr. Cloog liked the changes I made in my poem. In a way, I hope YM doesn’t print it, because It’s so much better now. I’m still extremely sad all the time, but I’m getting better–I can forget about it for a second now and then. After my oral report, Josh started clapping and everyone followed. I think I’m healing because I’ve been thinking about Josh. We have so much in common. Just a thought of course, and like I said, no more unless someone says something to me. I refuse to ask a male out again. Forever! I hate (!) feeling this way. Ah well, C’est la vie! Not only that, Josh is cute (though tall).
Dear Diary, 11/24/88
Thanksgiving is over. Tomorrow I work 8-4. I’m still tired. Last night I asked mom to cut my hair. Its shoulder length now. Its nearly all even except for my bangs and a small part where my hair used to be feathered. It looks nice, but I want my long hair back! Mom cut about 5 inches off –OUCH! I have a headache for some reason, so I’m going.
Dear Diary, 11/25/88
Today I went to work. A while ago I said I had bothered Chris and said it might be “thin line between love and hate” I figured it out. I did the same thing today. I wanted to inflict pain onto him, he had inflicted onto me. And it hurt to realize this. We had a long talk about things after that. I think I have finally come to terms with it. He told me it was all psychological. I told him he wouldn’t say that if he felt like I felt. I hate that saying “its better to have loved and lost…” I’m going to feel worse if I write anymore on that so I’m going to bed.
Dear Diary, 11/26/88
Worked today. I was in a fairly good mood. Chris and Linc read my poem. Linc didn’t say anything and Chris said it was nice. My face is itchy again. We went to my aunt and uncles house right after work. The first Star Trek of the new season was great. Deana Troi had a baby that grew rapidly. Wesley’s mom left and he was supposed to but he is staying. (Thank god!) Anyway, I’m going to bed.
Dear Diary, 11/27/88
Have I really changed a whole lot? I figure as long as I’m not happy with myself, I’ll keep changing! I did my wash and a little homework. That’s really all.
Dear Diary, 11/28/88
I am feeling very poetic this evening. If my name were Elizabeth, my mood would certainly be that. Most of the day today I was a Liz; the majority of the time I’m a Beth though. I just wrote “If you keep a smile in your heart and a laugh on your lips you shall always be happy” On October 24th I asked, “how long does it take for a broken heart to heal?” I think I can answer that as being now. Approximately a month. I am ready to live again! Watch out world, here I come!
Would you believe-
I talked with Lianne today. This is a list of who she likes (in order of course):
1)Peter 2) Sean 3) someone I don’t know 4) Josh 5) Seth 6) Karl and 7)Jeff.
This is my list:
1)Chris (still) 2) Josh 3) Seth 4,5,6 (in no particular order—because I’m only mildly interested) Daniel, Eric and Chad,
Players is doing (the believe) 12 Angry People (actually men, but well, obviously) [Dryad note: perhaps your drama dept was unlike mine, but we were very male challenged…and female heavy] I am going to try out for it. That’s all for tonight, G’night!
Dear Diary, 11/29/88
Nothing much today. I have a French test, a vocab test, anything else (?) tomorrow. Joy, Joy.
I had a dream last night about Josh. We were lying side by side on the grass, and he asked “What would you say if I said we were the perfect couple?” very softly and (both of us being on our sides) leaned over and kissed me. I answered back, “ I’d die of happiness.” And we began kissing again. Then we were up in my room, and we were going downstairs. We were holding hands. Mom, Dad, Uncle Chris, and Grandma were in the kitchen. We had gone out the back door, and he put his arm around me. Then the scene changed and we were under a tree house and he said, “you’re plan came out well.” And a bunch of other things I can’t remember. We had a short argument and we kissed. Then Sean or Matthew (I can’t remember which) popped out a window and were like, “ooooh, look at you two kiss” type thing. It was a nice dream. Oh, Well! At least I can kiss (I mean, know how for sure.) That’s really all.
Dear Diary, 12/4/88
I forgot to mention on 11/23 that I got my hair cut. I was extremely depressed Saturday morning, but Chris cheered me up. He really is a great friend. He’s the one person I can talk to- not even how I talk with Lianne. I tell him nearly everything. My shopping is done except I made a mistake on Uncle Chris’s present (I got him a Christmas tape, and he doesn’t really care for the artist) So, I’ll return it and get another one.
I got dad a black leather wallet; mom a CD; Grandma a PenDelfin named Jingles; Ron some blank tapes; Sabrina a pair of silver heart earrings; Aunt Ellen and Uncle Leo a meat and cheese set; Sasha a sweater; and got the rest of my girlfriends earrings. Whew! I spent well over $100, which for me is an awful lot. I might get Chris a present and I might get Bea one too. U have 3 small jars of herbs which I’m thinking of giving her. I have to start my term paper for Foreign Policy- I haven’t even started, (oh, shit!) it’s due something like January 7th. I’m doing better in French class except for the asses, such as Melanie and Roberta. We had a sub in class on Friday, and she asked the class who hadn’t had a turn reading the dialogue. And Roberta says, “Marie hasn’t!” It wasn’t so much her words, but the venom just oozed from her lips like it poisoned her just to say my French name. Ah well! Life is full of undesirable people. The photo for the newspaper for the yearbook, for instance. Linda went up to Julie and told her Tasha and her were Co-Editors. I go to tell her, 1) she spelled my name wrong, and 2) that I’m assistant editor. Linda says, “oh, that isn’t necessary.” As if it isn’t enough she already took editor, but won’t even let me have that scrape of recognition? After writing all the wrong things of that day, no wonder I was depressed! Just thinking gets me feeling down again. I’ve cleaned my room. So that’s all.
P.S. I started my period—again! (Already, I should say)
Work in Progress
Copyright Dryad (gbbjg@yahoo.com) 2003
Title: Dating Diary 1988 part 2 part2
Duration: 0:00
Submited by: Administrator
Category: 3month, 8month, 9month, deliverporn, lactating fetish
Added on: January 20th, 2009
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