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“I want to play with your my new toy.” I say, and reach for the vibrator I
bought for you. You tell me that you forgot to buy lubricant. “Lubricant?
BUY lubricant?! Why BUY lubricant?! You have enough of the natural stuff down
there to lube a Buick for life. You could take care of every car in the Indy
500…not to mention the drivers! There’s more grease down there right now
than Mr. Goodwrench sees in a year!” We laugh. We laugh a lot. We laugh so
much that we have to rest…again.

Orgasms and laughter. Natural. One hundred percent pure. No additives. No
preservatives. Good for the lungs, heart and all major muscle groups. Natural
up and downs. Lose the pills and the booze and the smokes. Safe and legal
[mostly] and cheap. Do ‘em alone or with friends. Laughs and orgasms.
Orgasms and laughs. Give ‘em and get ‘em. Be the first on your block to
collect the whole set!

“Let me do you, now.” you say. Always the gentleman, I agree to give you your
wish. I respond, “Tell me what you want to do.” “No. You have to ask me for
what you want.” I love this. You turn my own game against me. Wonderful! You
are just as big a tease as I am. “I want to tie you up, because I know you like
that, and then I want to use your whole body, but especially your mouth, to
make my cock feel good. And I want to cum in your cunt, on your tits and in
your mouth…for starters.”

I kiss you and feel your hands on my back and on my ass. You pull me up to
you. I am on my knees next to your face. You look at my hard cock and smile
up at me. As your hand reaches over to cup my balls, I bring an extra pillow
under your head, and brush your sweet cheek with the back of my hand. Your
other hand guides the head of my cock toward your lips. I grab my cock near
the base of the shaft and move it so that the head rubs your cheek and then
across your lips. I move it back and forth across your mouth. Your tongue
licks out at it and your hand presses from the top of the shaft to make the
contact firmer. Your mouth opens to take the head of my cock in. The hand
that cups my balls begins to caress the sensitive area behind them, and to
tease it’s way toward my ass. “Not yet.” I say and hold the wrist of the hand
near my asshole. “Too exciting. Save it for later.” You concentrate on working
on my cock with your mouth and hand. You look up at me again as you take the
head deeper into your mouth, then pull it out slowly, licking the tip good-bye.
I want to ram it in as far as I can, but I just push my hips forward and watch
you suck it into your mouth again. I place my hand softly on your cheek and
watch my cock as it gets wetter and moves between your lips. Heat travels from
my cock and up my back. You concentrate more with your hand just behind the
head, and with each stroke, my cock goes in deeper. The nerves in my cock feel
ready to explode and you move your hand away from around my cock so you can
take the whole length of it in. I pull my cock out of your mouth slowly, not
wanting to cum yet.
I move over you and straddle you across your belly, and bend over and give each
of your nipples a light kiss and a lick. Then I move up so that my cock is
between your beautiful, large tits. I take your hands and make you squeeze your
tits around my cock as I fuck between them. Occasionally I push forward enough
so that your mouth can reach my cock to moisten it, then I move down and rub my
cock hard across your nipples then between your tits again to fuck them some
more. I reach behind me and easily slide three fingers inside your cunt. Drops
of moisture come out of my cock and leave a wet trail on your tits. I rub my
cock in it and watch your hand as it pinches your own nipple as you press the
breast against my cock. I move back up to your mouth and rub my prick across
your cheek and lips and leave moisture on your face. You suck it into your
mouth grabbing the shaft tightly with your hand. As you pull it out of your
mouth you hold the tip of it against your lips, look up at me and say, “Fuck
me. I want you inside.” Ever the gentleman, I move down between your legs. I
feel my prick touch the very wet, open lips of your cunt. I hold the shaft of
it with my hand and rub the head across the you clit, and tease the lips open
further. As I tease you, your hips thrust up trying to devour me. I move my
cock with my hand so that just the head is inside you. You push again, wanting
it all, and although i ache for the same thing, I toy with both of us and play
with only the head inside you. Then, suddenly, I plunge my prick deeply into
your cunt. The heat of you is amazing. You pull at my shoulders and I hear
your deep intake of breath. I have to move in long, deep strokes, and I feel
you hips move to meet every thrust. The tension built by the teasing ebbs a
bit and we slow to an easier rhythm as we fuck. As I thrust into you, I hold
your face in my hands and kiss your lips, your cheeks and softly on your eyes.
…End of the part2. To be continued..

“You’re a crude boy, Goss,” she said. “But you’re right. This is the
part of the fantasy where I begin to get aroused. Here I am, alone in
my house with three strangers. Mack asks me to dance to a slow tune on
the stereo and I accept. His strong arms are wrapped around me and his
hard-on is pressing against my pussy and we’re barely moving to the
music when I feel fingers on the back of my bare left thigh.”

She also felt fingers on her bare left breast, sneaking in through the
buttons on her blouse. My fingertips caressed her soft flesh, found an
erect, rubbery nipple.

“Can I ask you to do something a little weird?” Cathie asked.

“Sure, the weirder the better,” I told her.

“Go into the bedroom and get the KY jelly.”

A smile crossed my lips as I got up and went to fetch the tube. When I
got back, Cathie was just stepping out of her panties, totally naked.
“Take your clothes off and put some of that jelly on your cock.”

As I was doing it, Cathie was arranging pillows on the couch. Two large,
fluffy pillows went to the middle and two went to one end. She jumped
onto the couch face down, arranged pillows under her thighs so she
was kneeling without effort and her large, round ass was pointing up.
Her head rested on the other two pillows.

“I want you to put your cock all the way up my bum,” she said. “Don’t
fuck it. Just keep still while I tell you the fantasy. I want to see if
I can make us come, just talking.”

“Hmmm,” I said. “That’s sort of unnatural. How am I going to stop myself
from moving? It’s sort of like a reflex.” I climbed up behind her and
positioned myself between her legs. Upright on my knees, the tip of my
cock grazed her fleshy buttocks and settled in between her ass cheeks.
I grabbed her, one hand on each hind cheek, began squeezing rhythmically.
You could have said Cathie had a fat ass. It was wide and protruding
but it was also perfectly smooth, soft, and round.

“If I can do it, you can do it,” she assured me.

Leaving my left hand on her left cheek, I used my right hand to direct
the tip of my cock to her anus.

“Don’t mess around,” she said. “Just push it all the way in and hold
still.”

Cathie pushed back as I was pushing forward and I felt the length of
my cock swallowed tightly by her asshole. I pulled back a bit, just to
enjoy seeing the shaft disappearing between her ass cheeks, into her body.

“All the way in and hold still, she commanded.

After I complied and we moved around a bit to get comfortable, she
continued with her fantasy.

“Where did I leave off?” she asked.

“You were dancing with Mac and he was feeling your ass,” I prompted.
As I said it, my cock twitched slightly.

“He has his hand on the back of my bare thigh,” Cathie corrected.
“I tell him to stop but I’m giggling as I say it. I tell him Steve and
Tony will see. Mack responds by kissing my neck and putting his hand
right on the left cheek of my bum. He’s squeezing my bum and I’m looking
around to see if the other guys are watching. Tony is sitting on the
couch, smoking a cigarette and watching closely. My dress is hiked up
so I know he can see the whole ass end of my panties and Mack’s hand,
squeezing my ass cheek. Steve is standing in the entrance to the kitchen,
sipping on a can of beer and he can see too.”

While Cathie is talking, I can feel my cock pulsing in her asshole.
Now and then she squeezes it. “Then what happens?” I ask.

“The song ends and Mack lets me go. I’m pretty embarrassed but I’m also
drunk and horny and I think I’d like to go to bed with Mack so I don’t
say anything. I brush past Steve and go into the kitchen. I don’t know
…End of the part2. To be continued..

I walked into the house, down a hallway and into the living room.
I grabbed the remote control and clicked on the television and looked
at the news. It wasn’t good. It never is.

I was at “my” end of the couch, to the right, still wearing faded jeans
and a blue dress shirt. I’d already kicked off my loafers so I was also
in sock feet. Cathie tumbled onto “her” end of the couch. This night
she was wearing black slacks and a silky red blouse with ruffles over
her large breasts. I’m not a fanatic about breasts but the red and the
ruffles accentuated Cathie’s tits and I watched them bobbing out of the
corner of my eye.

“I have to tell you this fantasy,” she said. I looked over at her.
Cathie has a perfect, smooth, white complexion, and a valentine-shaped
face highlighted by large, dark brown eyes and thick, sensual lips.
At this time, her pitch black hair was cut in a straight pageboy cut
that framed her face, kind of like representations of Cleopatra.

Before I met her, I’d always been attracted to short, thin women.
Cathie was nearly as tall as I am, five foot eight or so, and voluptuous.
She had large breasts and wide, wide hips. Just goes to show, I guess,
we fuck with our minds, not our bodies. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have given
Cathie a second glance.

“Sometimes when you’re away on a trip,” she said, “I get horny, laying in
bed at night. Now and then I wonder what it would be like if you didn’t
come back, if you dumped me for someone else.”

Dutifully, I said, “That’ll never happen, Cath.”

“I know,” she answered. “Still, I fantasize about having this party.
I’m single again and I invite everyone, all my friends and even people I
meet in the bar. I’m not with anyone, I’m just the hostess. I wear that
short, black cocktail dress you bought for me, with the hem way up above
my knees and the low cut top, bare feet and no bra or pantyhose. All I
have on is the cocktail dress and my white, silk panties underneath.”

“Very sexy, the black and the white together,” I commented.

“Well, I need new man in my life, don’t I?” she asked. “You’ve left me
all alone.”

“Right,” I said.

“We have the stereo blasting away and we’re dancing and drinking, telling
jokes, having a great time. Probably because you’re not there,” she said.

“Uh huh,” I grunted.

“During the party, I notice a guy named Mack who got invited at the bar.
I don’t know him but he asks me to dance a lot and I can tell he likes me.
He has two friends with him, Tony and Steve. They ask me to dance too and
I have a great time, probably because I’m too drunk to think about you.”

“Could we cut the disparaging, editorial comments about me?” I asked.
“After all, I haven’t left you and I have no intention of leaving you.”

“OK,” she agreed. “I was just trying to tell you what I feel in my
fantasy, to make it complete. Mack is good looking. He’s wearing
jeans and a jean jacket, he’s about medium build and he has straight,
brown hair down to his shoulders, with bangs. He’s a very intense guy.
Tony is Italian or Greek or something. He’s not very tall and he’s
thick through the body. Not fat, just heavy. Steve is the Nordic type,
with short blonde hair and blue eyes. He’s kind of tall and thin.”

Cathie said, “All of them are perfect gentleman during the party, even
though I’m teasing them, playing one off against the other. Anyway,
about two in the morning, most of the guests have gone. The last ones,
except Mack and his friends, leave about two thirty.”

I moved over to Cathie’s side of the couch, ignoring the television in
…End of the part1. To be continued..

I hear a knock on my office door. As I open the door I am
greeted by the sight of two sensuous students, Tina and
Linda. Tina is a brunette with large, dark, inviting eyes.
She has a slender figure, with small, firm breasts, a tiny
waist, and a nicely rounded ass. Linda is a voluptuous
blond. She has a beautiful face, framed by long blond hair.
Her figure flows from her abundant mammaries, to a slender
waist and then expands into her full, round ass. Both these
freshman nursing students really fill out their student
nurse uniforms. They both are freshman nursing students in
my anatomy class. Unfortunately, neither of them are doing
well in the class. I do welcome their presence in lecture,
because they wear short skirts to class. Since the lectures
are given in a large ampitheater and these two do not keep
their legs together, I have a very nice view of their crotch
all during class. I often have thought about screwing these
two, but no opportunity has presented itself. That is until
now.

“Hello Tina and Linda, What can I do for you?”

“Professor, we know that we are failing anatomy. We want to
know if there is anything we can do to improve our grade in
your course. Perhaps you could give us some special
tutoring.”

“Well Tina, I think that special tutoring sessions can be
arranged. After all, its still early in the semester
so you both still have time to raise your grade. Both
of you come into my office and sit down.”

As I begin my tutoring session, I explain to the girls that
they must come in twice a week for the remainder of the
semester to pass the course. They quickly agree. I ask
them some questions to break the ice:

“Tell me girls, how old are you?”

Tina replies “I’m 18.”

“Me too.” adds Linda

“Have either of you spent much time away from home before
coming to college?”

“No” and “No” are their replies.

“I realize that it is difficult being away from home for the
first time. Tell me, are you comfortable discussing the
human body?”

“What do you mean?” asks Linda

“Are you embarrassed by talking about the human body?”

“No”

“Are you embarrassed by looking at the human body?”

“Sometimes.” answers Linda

“Never” replies Tina.

“Are you comfortable with your own bodies?”

“I don’t know what you are talking about,” answers Linda.

“Linda, have you looked at your own body in the mirror?”

“Well, yes, everybody does that.”

“How about you Tina?”
…End of the part1. To be continued..

As I said, the Palace is a good place for orgies. I’ll skip the require-
ments for getting in, except to say that you need a clean test report from your
doctor, dated within a week.
This Saturday, my wife and I had gone to the Palace, after getting young
Lisa to babysit our 18 month old. We had arrived earlier in the evening, and
now I was heading towards the bar in the second lounge. I needed a break as
much as a glass of OJ. I’d just come in from the pool, after helping a man
fuck his wife. She’d wanted a fuck-sandwich, so I pumped her pussy while he
filled her butt. She was a very sweet gal named Diane, and we’d all enjoyed
it. My wife was off somewhere, getting her thrills, which we’d share later
tonight after we returned home. The OJ was good, and I watched the show on
stage. A pair of girls were 69′ing each other while two guys pumped them.
These were not pros, but average guests, showing off for the crowd. People were
clapping and making approving noises as the foursome switched around into a
variety of positions. The men announced their orgasms and came inside their
ladies, and the girls continued to lick and suck each other’s pussies for a
while. The men sat back and watched. When they were done, the foursome stood
and held hands, bowing to the audience. They were glistening with sweat from
the hot lights, and their exertions. The girls’ faces were shiny with love
juices, making their smiles even sexier.
I was going to wander into the back, near the group rooms, to see if I
could find someone I knew, or someone new. As I passed a naked young lady who
was sitting on a sofa in the lounge, she put her hand on my thigh and stopped
me. Without a word she took my semi-hard cock in her mouth and began to suck
it. Sitting next to her was her husband, fucking a big-titted woman of about
forty. The gal sucking my cock was rubbing the older woman’s clit as she and
her husband fucked. On stage, several people were setting up for another show.
All around us, people were entering, leaving, or talking. Some were slowly
masturbating themselves or their partners. At one table, a woman was stroking
her partner’s cock under the table, while fingering the pussy to her right,
and carrying on a conversation with a woman across from her.
The gal sucking me was doing a great job, obviously having her fun with
my shaft. She would suck it down her throat, then lick the underside and even
lick my balls. She slid up the shaft and held the head in her mouth, swirling
her tounge around it and flicking the sensitive head and area just below. Then
down her throat again. She did this with unabashed enthusiasm, as if to show
me that she really loved to suck cock.
On stage, a lovely young redhead came out and sat down on a thick carpet,
spreading her legs to the audience. She began to masturbate, and after a few
moments, five men walked on stage and stood around her. The men began to
masturbate, offering her their cocks one at a time. The redhead liked to suck
too, and she took a huge cock down to the base, making the audience applaud
quietly.
The gal sucking me had me aroused and near orgasm, and watching the stage
show, I felt a surging deep inside. I looked down and the gal was sloppily
licking my shaft with her tounge, and rubbing it all over her face. She sucked
the head and then looked up at me, mouthing the words “come in my face”. I
couldn’t hold back. She had the head in her mouth, just as my sperm gushed out
…End of the part1. To be continued..

Jeff held the door for us, and we entered, walking into the bar part of
the restaurant. The girl behind the counter waved to him, and Jeff
waved back. He motioned us to a table and we sat down, off in the
corner. “That’s my sister Chris.” Jeff said, pointing to the bartender
he’d waved to. “She’s a terrific kid. You’d never guess she has two
kids of her own.” He was certainly right. Chris looked to be only
about 23, and when she came over to say hello, her tight fitting black
pants showed curves that would make most women extremely jealous. Chris
is pretty, with brown hair and big brown eyes, but not outstandingly so.
“Picking up girls on the beach again, eh, Jeff?” She chided him. Chris
looked us over, asking us for our orders. We gave them to her. “Just
be care- ful if Jeff suggests taking you to his place. He’s a real
wolf.” “Thanks.” I said, seeing that Chris was just teasing her
brother. Jill and I talked with him, and when Chris came back with our
drinks, she said that she would be off work at midnight. It was quarter
of, and we waited for her to come over and join us. In the meantime,
Jeff was telling us that he thought of “carrot-tops” as very sexy. Jill
asked about blondes, and Jeff said that he liked blondes too, but since
redheads were scarer, and pretty ones even more so, he was intrigued.
Chris joined us finally, and Jeff went to the restroom. “Jeff’s really
a sweet guy.” Chris said. “If it weren’t for Jeff, I’d be a lot worse
off.” Chris said that she had two little girls, and her husband had
died in a car accident just after the last one was born. Jeff stepped
in and helped her out, and now she was making it on her own. Jill was
impressed by Chris’s emphatic praise of him. “How long has your brother
been helping you?” Jill asked. “Is that what he told you? That he’s
my brother?” Chris laughed a bit. “No, Jeff’s actually my
brother-IN-LAW. My husband was his older brother.” Jill and I looked
at each other then, and realized that Jeff was really an interesting
guy.

Just as I was going to ask Chris if Jeff was married, he came back to
the table, smiling. I could see no wedding ring (or a “cheaters mark”)
so I guessed him to be single. “I just called Pete to come join us.”
Jeff said. Chris’s eyes lit up and she told us that Pete was a
“true-blue hunk”. Jeff looked at Jill, and said “I hope you don’t mind,
but I think you’ll like Pete. I know he’ll like you.” Jill was a bit
miffed at Jeff taking the liberty, but when Pete came in, she changed
her mind. “Hunk” was right! Pete was about five eleven and every bit
as fit and trim as a girl could want. He had dark hair and a smooth
dark complexion (from his spanish mother) and gleaming blue eyes (from
his father). A few more drinks and Chris suggested her place, as her
mother had the kids for the weekend. Feeling pleasantly relaxed, Jill
and I agreed.

Jill’s place wasn’t far away, and it was a very nice large apartment
near the beach. Just near enough to hear and smell the ocean (but not
see it), and far enough away that the rent was reasonable. About a half
hour after getting to her place, Chris disappeared to get out of her
“work clothes”. I was sitting right next to Jeff on the sofa, while
Jill and Pete were looking through some of Chris’s record albums.
Jeff’s finger touched under my chin and I turned to look at him. His
eyes were so soft and gentle, I could feel the electricity in his touch,
and I leaned into his soft, warm lips. I kissed him, feeling his lips
slowly part, and his tongue gently stroked my lips. I parted my lips
and let his tongue enter my mouth, eagerly swirling my tongue around
his. I chased his tongue into his mouth when it withdrew, and that
excited him, his hands now sliding urgently down my back. We were both
…End of the part2. To be continued..

Dear Diary, 11/5/88
Today I went to work. Chris was 1/2 hour late. Linc had left early (about 8:30) because he had to go to the Home Product Show. During first break, I kept bothering him; he told me to cut the shit. I kept going though. Why was I doing that? I was thinking maybe It was something like I can’t have him love me, I would want him to hate me? (Thin line between love and hate?) I don’t know. I kept myself extremely busy at Players the whole time. I got paint all over myself. Daniel was there till 5 Valerie, Michele, Eric, Carson, Linda and Jill left before the rest of us.

Dear Diary, 11/6/88
Today we cut up the deer Dad got. I had told Sandra and Maggie was there. Maggie’s chin dropped to her chest. It was so funny! I now have 18 1/2 hours in on the players (you need 200 to get a letter) Daniel gave me a ride home. We all, (Tabitha was there too!) started hitting eachother-Daniel hit me in the eye because he couldn’t see where he was hitting. We had a partial run through of Adam and Eve- during the blackout Sandra and I moved their new home on stage and put it nearly in the right spot; in the dark. I was proud of myself…don’t know why really…we have to know that anyway. I think rehearsal is until 9:30 tomorrow. Players paid for my dinner (also the people who came early) This is great therapy- I don’t have time to get mopey. I guess I ought to go to bed. Night!

Dear Diary, 11/7/88

Worked on show all afternoon. Deirdre took me home, Mr. Lion wanted to get up to Passionella’s change scene- we only got up to the first part of Lady or the Tiger. I honestly don’t think we’ll be done in time. Its late. Sandra and I were dropped off by Mr. Lion at Mama’s . We ordered pizza and brought it back (we walked) I’ve gotta get to bed. Night!

Dear Diary, 11/8/88

It’s 11:18 at night. We had the total run through of the play. There is a ghost in the Auditorium. We named it Sarah. Katherine’s been really edgy, but then so has everybody. I hope (as probably everyone else does) that opening night will be a success. It seemed to go fairly smoothly.

Dear Diary, 11/9/88
Opening night was a success! We only had maybe 2 mishaps. Linda forgot a few lines to her song- but it still sounded beautiful and the wheel on Adam and Eve’s hut broke, so we had to put a new one in. Sarah showed herself. There was a glowing in the back room and the work lights went on mysteriously twice. We accounted for one where Amanda flicked the switch on and off. Nicki had a sore throat but she still sounded beautiful. One of the candles fell out of the candlestick and off the platform. Afterward, everyone was hugging everyone. Daniel hugged 4 of us at once! (this is one growing boy!)
I’m starting to mend but I had a setback when I saw that boy again. Dierdre gave me a ride home. Night!

Dear Diary, 11/10/88
The play went great! In Adam and Eve Adam’s first hut fell over. Daniel said, “It’s all your fault Eve!” and they improvised until they got it back up. Nick had gone to the mall. There was a parrot in the pet store. When people said, “hi” it said hi; when people said “John” it said “John”. Well, Nicki thought she’d be smart and say, “Nicki’s God”. And the parrot LAUGHED! The whole entire store laughed.

I’m working 8-4 tomorrow, so I’ve got to get to sleep.

Dear Diary, 11/11/88
Nothing much today. I went to work and we did geraniums, new guinea impatiens and fuscia oh, and vinca. It was Linc, Chris, Sasha, me and mom. Got home and went to eat at Dragon City. Its 7:00 now. I’m gonna get ready for bed.

Dear Diary, 11/12/88

I worked at the store today, 9-1. I got home, ate, sat and moped. I am feeling extremely sorry for myself. I miss Chris (as a boyfriend) The play went beautifully, near success. Daniel’s mom drove me home because everyone else went to Friendly’s. Last night I had the strangest dream. I had a dream that I was going out with Eric Brando and that we were rolling all over the ground, fucking like mad. If his lips are as good in real life…
My subconscious has a filthy mind.

Dear Diary, 11/13/88
I slept until 8, which is late for me. I putzed around, did 2 loads of wash (still have 2 left). Lianne and I are going to do the seminar for the Newspaper tomorrow. It ought to be fun. I am feeling worse and worse. When I was working on the play, I was kept busy enough. I always seem about to cry.
I have a dull ache in my chest where my heart used to be. But now, my heart has shattered causing my breath to be short and a constant lump in my throat.
I am in a constant state of melancholy though no one even sees it. I would honestly be a fantastic actress.

Dear Diary, 11/14/88
I went to the journalism workshop which was interesting and I got letters from my pen pals—on the same day. I am tired so that’s all I’ll say except that I’m getting a 62 in French.

Dear Diary, 11/16/88
Nothing much goin on. I am sending a poem to YM to see if I can get it published. Daniel lost his voice. We are hoping that he will get it back. (oh, well) I sent the letter to Australia the next day.

Dear Diary, 11/17/88
Nothing much. It was a ½ day so I went ot work. Got my report card. English-78, foreign policy-85, Algebra- 71, French- 62, CPR- 88, Gym- 88 Chemistry- 83. Test on Moby Dick tomorrow. UGH.

Dear Diary, 11/18/88
I am in the pits of mortal despair. (Dryad note: obviously stolen from “Anne of Green Gables”.) I hurt so badly, If only I could cry and let it all out, but instead I have this horrid ache inside. It is so hard to be on the verge of tears all the time and never being able to cry. Putting on a brave face so no one (and honestly no one does) knows how badly I’ve been hurt. Its something like putting a bandaid over a chopped off arm.
Why? I care for him surely, but do I (honestly now do I love him? My symptoms are pointing to that, but its too late for me to do anything now.
On to cheerier matters. The play went great. Daniel had his voice (praise the lord). Daniel is having the cast party tomorrow night. I had better get to bed now.

Dear Diary, 11/20/88
Being so early in the morning (1:30am) and so much to tell, I’ll finish in the morning. All I’ll say now is that I went to the cast party, the play was the best yet, and work was okay. Finish later.

I never finished last night. Mom got mad at me this morning for asking if she was going to the play. Chris cheered me up (not just the sight—verbal wise!) Mom and dad took me to school. Closing night was our best night. Daniel made a joke about Quayle as president in Adam and Eve. The party was fun. We watched a video tape of the show. Lizzie’s mom took me home. I didn’t do much today.

Dear Diary, 11/23/88
Sorry so late in writing. Nothing much is going on. We’ve been taking down set, sophomore class is selling cookies, I got an A+ on my French composition and a 91 on my oral report in English and an 80 on my chemistry test. In volleyball, I dove for the ball and got a floor burn. (feels nasty too) (Dryad note: still have the scar too!) Well tomorrow is thanksgiving. What am I thankful for? My family of course, friends? I put a question mark there because I have no real friends anymore. I used to be able to tell Lianne anything but now it’s hard. I have plenty of friends though between classes and Players. Well, I’ve got too many to count.
Mr. Cloog liked the changes I made in my poem. In a way, I hope YM doesn’t print it, because It’s so much better now. I’m still extremely sad all the time, but I’m getting better–I can forget about it for a second now and then. After my oral report, Josh started clapping and everyone followed. I think I’m healing because I’ve been thinking about Josh. We have so much in common. Just a thought of course, and like I said, no more unless someone says something to me. I refuse to ask a male out again. Forever! I hate (!) feeling this way. Ah well, C’est la vie! Not only that, Josh is cute (though tall).

Dear Diary, 11/24/88
Thanksgiving is over. Tomorrow I work 8-4. I’m still tired. Last night I asked mom to cut my hair. Its shoulder length now. Its nearly all even except for my bangs and a small part where my hair used to be feathered. It looks nice, but I want my long hair back! Mom cut about 5 inches off –OUCH! I have a headache for some reason, so I’m going.

Dear Diary, 11/25/88
Today I went to work. A while ago I said I had bothered Chris and said it might be “thin line between love and hate” I figured it out. I did the same thing today. I wanted to inflict pain onto him, he had inflicted onto me. And it hurt to realize this. We had a long talk about things after that. I think I have finally come to terms with it. He told me it was all psychological. I told him he wouldn’t say that if he felt like I felt. I hate that saying “its better to have loved and lost…” I’m going to feel worse if I write anymore on that so I’m going to bed.

Dear Diary, 11/26/88
Worked today. I was in a fairly good mood. Chris and Linc read my poem. Linc didn’t say anything and Chris said it was nice. My face is itchy again. We went to my aunt and uncles house right after work. The first Star Trek of the new season was great. Deana Troi had a baby that grew rapidly. Wesley’s mom left and he was supposed to but he is staying. (Thank god!) Anyway, I’m going to bed.

Dear Diary, 11/27/88
Have I really changed a whole lot? I figure as long as I’m not happy with myself, I’ll keep changing! I did my wash and a little homework. That’s really all.

Dear Diary, 11/28/88
I am feeling very poetic this evening. If my name were Elizabeth, my mood would certainly be that. Most of the day today I was a Liz; the majority of the time I’m a Beth though. I just wrote “If you keep a smile in your heart and a laugh on your lips you shall always be happy” On October 24th I asked, “how long does it take for a broken heart to heal?” I think I can answer that as being now. Approximately a month. I am ready to live again! Watch out world, here I come!
Would you believe-
I talked with Lianne today. This is a list of who she likes (in order of course):
1)Peter 2) Sean 3) someone I don’t know 4) Josh 5) Seth 6) Karl and 7)Jeff.
This is my list:
1)Chris (still) 2) Josh 3) Seth 4,5,6 (in no particular order—because I’m only mildly interested) Daniel, Eric and Chad,

Players is doing (the believe) 12 Angry People (actually men, but well, obviously) [Dryad note: perhaps your drama dept was unlike mine, but we were very male challenged…and female heavy] I am going to try out for it. That’s all for tonight, G’night!

Dear Diary, 11/29/88
Nothing much today. I have a French test, a vocab test, anything else (?) tomorrow. Joy, Joy.
I had a dream last night about Josh. We were lying side by side on the grass, and he asked “What would you say if I said we were the perfect couple?” very softly and (both of us being on our sides) leaned over and kissed me. I answered back, “ I’d die of happiness.” And we began kissing again. Then we were up in my room, and we were going downstairs. We were holding hands. Mom, Dad, Uncle Chris, and Grandma were in the kitchen. We had gone out the back door, and he put his arm around me. Then the scene changed and we were under a tree house and he said, “you’re plan came out well.” And a bunch of other things I can’t remember. We had a short argument and we kissed. Then Sean or Matthew (I can’t remember which) popped out a window and were like, “ooooh, look at you two kiss” type thing. It was a nice dream. Oh, Well! At least I can kiss (I mean, know how for sure.) That’s really all.

Dear Diary, 12/4/88
I forgot to mention on 11/23 that I got my hair cut. I was extremely depressed Saturday morning, but Chris cheered me up. He really is a great friend. He’s the one person I can talk to- not even how I talk with Lianne. I tell him nearly everything. My shopping is done except I made a mistake on Uncle Chris’s present (I got him a Christmas tape, and he doesn’t really care for the artist) So, I’ll return it and get another one.
I got dad a black leather wallet; mom a CD; Grandma a PenDelfin named Jingles; Ron some blank tapes; Sabrina a pair of silver heart earrings; Aunt Ellen and Uncle Leo a meat and cheese set; Sasha a sweater; and got the rest of my girlfriends earrings. Whew! I spent well over $100, which for me is an awful lot. I might get Chris a present and I might get Bea one too. U have 3 small jars of herbs which I’m thinking of giving her. I have to start my term paper for Foreign Policy- I haven’t even started, (oh, shit!) it’s due something like January 7th. I’m doing better in French class except for the asses, such as Melanie and Roberta. We had a sub in class on Friday, and she asked the class who hadn’t had a turn reading the dialogue. And Roberta says, “Marie hasn’t!” It wasn’t so much her words, but the venom just oozed from her lips like it poisoned her just to say my French name. Ah well! Life is full of undesirable people. The photo for the newspaper for the yearbook, for instance. Linda went up to Julie and told her Tasha and her were Co-Editors. I go to tell her, 1) she spelled my name wrong, and 2) that I’m assistant editor. Linda says, “oh, that isn’t necessary.” As if it isn’t enough she already took editor, but won’t even let me have that scrape of recognition? After writing all the wrong things of that day, no wonder I was depressed! Just thinking gets me feeling down again. I’ve cleaned my room. So that’s all.
P.S. I started my period—again! (Already, I should say)

Work in Progress

Copyright Dryad (gbbjg@yahoo.com) 2003

Dear Diary, 10/20/88
I am starting this diary to tell everything. To people, I can’t
be perfectly honest and not hurt them, but to you I will tell
everything.
I guess the reason I started this was because I have a
boyfriend. Chris Carpenter. He doesn’t want me telling my
friends everything about what we do and I have trouble doing
that, so I figured I could tell you instead of my friends.

Well, lets see, where do I begin? The beginning, of course. I
was in work on 9/24/88 on Saturday. I had offered sex to a boy
in my algebra class and ended up telling him what a fool I made
of myself—then I go around and ask him! And when he said no, I
dared him to call home and stay later in work. Still, I was
confused. Why would he say no? Sure, I’m no great prize, but not
many girls are willing to do that!
I realized that I had lost respect for myself and that I was
tired of being me., which I told him when he asked why I
offered. The next weekend, I got his phone number and called
him to ask him if he liked me or now (boy, was I really that
daring?) It was lucky though, because he said he did.
The next Saturday, he came over my house after work. It was a
dreary, rainy day, but we went out anyway. We walked down to the
pond and from there, I brought him to my field. Its on Castle’s
old property, with a thicket in the corner, next to the stream,
and a pine tree in the center. I got a scare, we found the
skeleton of a deer near the thicket. All this time, he hadn’t
kissed me and it bothered me. We went to the clubhouse from
there, and just sat down. Finally I said, “I’ve got something
I want you do to.? He answered “what?” and I said back softly,
almost pleadingly, “Kiss me?”
He leaned over and gave me a kiss, then we sat there and French
kissed for nearly a half an hour! We went back to the house
until he had to leave. We worked Monday and every time we had
to go to the upper greenhouse, we stopped for a few seconds to
kiss. During lunch break, we thought Lance had left, we went
into the chicken coops and out to see the geese. He was working
in the greenhouse, we left really quick. We went down around
the west greenhouse in back where no one could see and spent a
while there. Arlene was sleeping when we got back!
The next Saturday was surprising. We didn’t get together that
weekend, but we had kissed during a 15 minute break for over 20
minutes! Now I’m up to Wednesday. U had gone over his house. Boy
is it beautiful, especially the balcony overlooking the living
room. We went for a walk in back of his house, and ended up in
this cornfield. At one side there was a gravel pit. We sat on
the edge for awhile talking and kissing. Then where he scorched
the grass (long story) then on a log near the edge. (we were
trying to make our way back) then on some hay in the field. When
we were here, he told me he liked my hair long. I was glad. I
forgot to add the Saturday Arlene was there, he told me he
…End of the part1. To be continued..

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